A typical end of the school year day. Under normal circumstances, the only thing that might have made this day less than ordinary would have been a wonderful Going Away party for 4 of the literacy coaches who are moving on. One is really retiring, one is going to stay home with her baby, one is following her husband to Ohio, and one is following her dreams to India. Under all circumstances, I will always know how blessed I have been to be able to work with this incredible group of teacher leaders. I love them all, personally and professionally.
I went home, made dinner for Tully and spent about an hour on the phone with the ex-husband's next ex-wife. Yes, my ex-husband's next ex-wife...you know, as Sun Tsu says in The Art of War, "Your enemy's enemy is your friend." That's us: We validate one another's sanity in a way that no one else is able to do! We know #3 can't be too far from joining our little society! I was sharing with her the devastation and destruction that our hometown, Joplin, had endured as a result of the May 22 tornado. So many people and places we both know and love were affected and she hadn't been able to make the trip from Branson yet. She was worried about Austin and Addi and wanted to know they were ok. Divorce is cruel...one day you are some one's parent, the next you are not! I appreciate her concern and care for my children whom she helped raise.
After talking with Nann and feeding Tully his dinner, I called Rick. He had been gone for 3 long weeks on State Emergency duty in Missouri. First, to Sikeston to help with the May flooding of the Mississippi. Then, to Joplin, after my frantic call to him on Sunday night after the Joplin tornado. He made it happen from the ground up! His unit was the first on the scene in Joplin, arriving by mid-day on Monday to keep people from looting. They brought in huge generators with flood lights, 150 Military Police, and an unwavering presence! I thank God for Rick and his willingness to serve. Under that tough Marine Corps Drill Instructor exterior there is a heart of a servant! It makes me love him all the more!
During that conversation, I felt something "pop" in between my shoulder blades and I told Rick that I thought that maybe I had pinched a nerve in my back. I figured after holding my i-Phone between my ear and shoulder all that time I was on the phone with Nann had pinched something. My neck, shoulders, and jaw tightened up and I felt like I needed to elongate my spine. Immediately, I was regretting not having made that chiropractor appointment I had considered all week! I told Rick I was going to go get out my yoga mat and see if I couldn't work out this tightness. By the time I had the mat down, I was feeling nauseous and ran to the bathroom just in time to throw up. I can't explain what I was feeling...it wasn't a powerful pain, but something in my head just kept saying "Something isn't right!" Calling Rick back, I explained to him what I was experiencing and we both agreed I should go to the ER. Gathering Tully from the neighbor's yard, I called my precious friend, Ann Fry, and asked for a favor. "Will you meet me at the ER?" I was imagining sitting in an ER waiting room for hours on end and Tully's complete and total boredom. Besides, he had school the next day and it was already after 7:00. He needed to be able to go home and go on to bed and I knew I could count on Ann to help me out. Another servant who lives to be Jesus' hands and feet!
Ann and Rick both called me back and suggested I pull over and call 911, or let Ann come get me. I, however, felt a very strong sense of urgency to hurry up and get to the hospital. Rick stayed on the line with me all the way and Ann met me at the ER canopy.
Upon arriving at the ER, Ann commented about how very red my face was. Now, for those of you who know me, my face is ALWAYS red! It's that ruddy Irish in me! So, for Ann to say my face was red, she really meant it! By now, I did have tightness in my chest that I can only compare to having a 6 inch wide rubber band placed around your chest and under your arms. One of those big, thick, tight ones...the ones you can't seem to stretch out when you tug on them.
Within minutes, maybe even seconds, I was escorted back to a room and an EKG was started. I have never seen anything happen so quickly in an ER! You mention the words "chest pains" and they kick into hyper-mode!
The EKG was absolutely normal! They dosed me with a nitro to relieve the pressure in my chest, followed by another in about 5 minutes. Wowser, does that stuff burn! Once the pressure gave way, the Doctor began to ask me about my stress level. How much time do you have? Let's see...
*my husband is gone on state emergency duty (he is my rock and I am lost without him!)
*it is the end of the school year (teachers, need I say more?)
*tomorrow is day 5 out of 6 data days at school (academic facilitators, need I say more?)
*my daughter's apartment was destroyed in the May 22 Joplin tornado and now she is homeless
*my son and grandbabies rode out the tornado in his dad's truck at the convenience store across Rangeline from Home Depot
*we are moving to India in 3 month
*the shippers come next Thursday
Perhaps, says the kind ER doctor, this could be stress related. Ya think? He suggests waiting for some test results and then a nice shot of Valium. I could do that, as long as Ann is willing to drive my sloppy self home!
At some point, Ann took Tully out of my ER suite and to the waiting room for a snack. Our friend, Rhoni Rogers, was working at the ER desk and offered to keep an eye on Tully. They are old buds!
She even called her daughter, Lynette, to come get Tully and take him home with her so he wouldn't have to hang out at the ER. Isn't it amazing how God puts people in the just right place at the just right time?
Back in my "suite," Ann and I sat and chatted while texting. I'm a little fuzzy on the details at this point, but Ann reminded me that I suddenly "felt dizzy!"
Here's what I remember initially...
*gagging, gagging, gagging (I think they were intibating me)
*the scream of the heart monitor (it was SO loud!)
*moaning and heavy breathing (not the good kind, either)
*wondering who was doing all that moaning and heavy breathing? Wait, is that ME?
*Dr. Newcity, the ER doc, stroking my hair, wiping my face with a cold wash cloth, and speaking to me, calling me by name and asking me if I was with him
*Dr. Simpson, the Cardiologist, immediately beginning to tell me what had happened to me.
My heart went into ventricular fibrillation and into a rhythm known as Torsades de Pointes. This rhythm causes the lower chamber of the heart to beat extremely rapidly, up to 250 bpm, during which time no blood is able to pump in or out. Torsades is heart rhythm "incompatible with life" and I had suffered "sudden cardiac death" but was only without oxygen for about 60 seconds. The Crash Team had administered chest compressions and then they shocked me with AED, or Automatic External Defibrillator, just like we have in our foyer at school.
I remember crying, unable to comprehend how this could happen to me! I wanted Rick and was afraid that the nurses wouldn't call the Red Cross to get him released from his orders to come be with me. Ann Fry was by my side, as was Rhoni, Lynette, and Tully. What a brave boy he was. The whites of my eyes were completely red from the chest compressions and he was worried about my ability to see. He held it together in front of me, but I remember at some point seeing him in the corner of the room with Ann and Lynette in a heap of tears. I thank God that he was crying here and now and not because he walked in the house and found me dead on the bedroom floor! I can't even begin to imagine how that would have changed his for life and I have to work really hard at not playing the "What If" game!
Dr. Simpson insisted that we go immediately to the Cath Lab for a heart cath. He did not want to wait for Rick to get there. I was terrified that I might not get to tell Rick good-bye and how very much I have loved him. I have always said that I am not afraid of death and I'm not. I know where I am going without a doubt. What I have learned is that I am afraid of not having lived and loved enough! There is still so much to do, so much more time to spend with those I love. That is what I am afraid of.
By the time the heart cath was finished, Rick, Addi and Larani had arrived at the hospital. I have never seen a more precious sight then when the 3 of them and Tully walked into that lab! I couldn't say "I love you" enough to each of them! I could see by the fear in Rick's eyes his love for me. What a gift!
Dr. Simpson began to explain to my loves what I had been through. He also explained that the heart cath revealed a very healthy heart! No blockage, no plaque, no damage. The only thing he did find was a "twig" or very small artery or capillary (can't remember which) that was short and stubby and didn't quite reach the wall of my heart. He did not, however, think it played any role in my "event" and is most likely congenital. Because there was no damage to repair, the only thing to do was to protect me from this ever happening again. Because it was apparently electrical in nature, Dr. Simpson recommended implanting an internal cardiac defibrillator. This way, should my heart ever decide to go into v-fib again, the ICD would shock it back into a regular rhythm. Dr. Simpson said he would bet his entire lifetime of paychecks that it would not ever happen again, but was not willing to bet my life on it!
So that is how this otherwise forgettable day ended. Room 420 at Mercy Medical surrounded by my husband, 3 of my 5 beautiful children and 5 of the most precious friends a girl could ever ask for.
It could have turned out so different had I not listened to my body. I wouldn't be here today had I not gone to the ER, the doctors have made that very clear. Most people do not survive what I went through and only because I was sitting on that table in the ER with the heart monitor hooked up to me am I hear to share this experience with you.
May 25, 2011.
Who won American Idol? Who cares? What is important is that I listened. Normally, I'm not so good at that. I give credit where credit is due and know that is by the grace of God that I am here today. I know that May 25, 2011 was NOT the day He has written down for me. So, I'm listening again. What is it that I need to do? Where do I need to go? We are still good to go for Mumbai and are more excited by the day! But now I am listening closer for what it is that I need to do where ever I happen to be. My eyes are open, looking to help those who cannot help themselves. I have been called to listen and am living proof that when you listen AND act, amazing things can happen.
